Book Review: 13 Ways of Looking at a Fat Girl

I didn't get it.

At all.

Honestly, I don't see how this book is getting so much acclaim. It did nothing for me and while I muddled through the story of the evolving "Fat Girl" I felt more annoyed than anything. Utterly and completely annoyed. Maybe that makes me a terrible person but I - as a fat girl myself - had a really tough time relating to the main character. It carried a "poor me" vibe and made it seem like fat girls will do anything to get attention and ultimately sex because that is how they are viewed, a poor, pitiful creatures who will take whatever comes their way.

The main character floats through time telling stories about how her best friend was promiscuous and dropped out of school, how she had an affair of some sort with older men, gross men, etc. Basically, the main character confuses sex with love and then doesn't know how to be happy even when she is thin. I don't feel that there is any indication of her learning to love herself and that should be the point.

Maybe I missed the point. I'm sure somebody out there will scream at me and tell me I did. Fine. But I'm gonna let that person have their opinion and I will hold onto mine. This book was crap and though it was suggested reading in a well-known magazine, I just didn't get the draw and I am SO grateful that I borrowed it from the library in stead of wasting my hard-earned money on it.

I'll give it 2 out of 5 top hats....and that's being generous.

Happy Easter!

My mum sent me this awesome video about coloring eggs with silk neckties so we just HAD to try it. I have to say, it was much easier, a lot cleaner, and the result is AWESOME.

It took:

a dozen WHITE eggs
6 neckties - silk and the more colorful/brighter, the better
white cotton (we used muslin scraps from other projects)
string
4 c. water
1/4 c. white vinegar

Here's the awesome video from the SALT project that gives the detailed directions.

Supplies!!!

Make sure you get everything together before you start - have 12 squares cut from the neckties (large enough to cover an egg) and 12 squares cut from the muslin.

Wrap a square of silk necktie around an egg and tie the top with string.

Then wrap the string around the egg to hold it in place.

Wrap the egg in the white cotton square and secure it with some more string (or a rubber band). Set it carefully in the pot of water and vinegar. We were able to do this together as a family :) We only lost one egg!

All set in the pot of water and vinegar!

Bring the water to a boil and then let simmer for 30 minutes. Remove from heat and unwrap your eggs!

Our eggs turned out awesome! No dye on our fingers and plenty of pretty colors!!!

And if this project isn't enough to make your easter special, how about a mug of bunny....our newest family member...

Obsession #43 - The Walking Dead

Admittedly, I'm borrowing a lot of this post from one of my other blogs but it seems more relevant here...and...I've received a lot of backlash over the post so I'm going to rework it a bit and expand. I may let the kids comment at some point but they kinda just go into that "Don't kill Glen or Carl or Maggie or Darryl" place.

See, it's time to face facts, I'm a terrible mom. I allow my kids to watch The Walking Dead and consequently must be stoned. Surely I am going to "mommy hell." for allowing my kids to watch something so awful.

Except that I don't think it's awful. And here's why:

1. Zombies are the new cool. When I was a kid, we watched Freddy, Michael, and Jason tear, cut, and shred teens. When I was Autumn's age, I started reading Stephen King books and let's face it, they aren't for the weak of heart.

The zombie mythos is being marketed to every age range in every medium possible (Plants vs. Zombies, Monster High, Alice in Zombieland...need I go on??). At school they talk about zombies, draw zombies, and write about zombies. Bottom line, my kids are into zombies and they are going to find a way to access all things zombie so why not be a part of their discovery? Why not be there to help explore and answer questions?

My daughter getting her zombie on as "Zombie Sophia"

2. TWD is about more than zombies, it's a social study. It's kind of like disguising vegetables so the kids will eat them....hiding lessons in TWD, who woulda thunk it? I'm not saying TWD is on the same level as After School Special but our kids are living in a different time with different problems. We've addressed issues about defending yourself/your family, how far you'd go to survive, first crushes, and the importance of being honest. I never know what I'm going to get out of them after an episode but I look forward to it. The important thing is that we watch the episode together in case something doesn't settle right with them.

My son impersonating "Carl."

3. The fandom is incredible. My kids are so different but they agree on The Walking Dead. It is one of a few things we can enjoy together and that means they can cosplay on the convention circuit. My kids have accompanied me to more than a few events at this point and TWD fandom never disappoints. They've met some of the actors and I have to say that for the most part, TWD has some of the nicest celebs we've encountered.

My kiddos acting up at Horrorhound

4. It is just fun. Though we never get to watch TWD on the night it airs since we don't have cable, the kids and I don't mind. Waiting allows us to pick the best night for our schedules and plan the perfect meal or snacks. Homework is done, clothes are ready for school the next day, and everything is set out before we even start the show so nobody misses anything.

I'm going to argue that this is one thing I'm doing right as a mom. My kiddos and I bond over the The Walking Dead and the best part of that statement is "bond." How many of my wanna-be-shamers can say the same thing?

Book Review: Everybody's Got Something by Robin Roberts

I should probably preface this review by saying that I have been a fan of Ms. Roberts since she joined ESPN. Seeing a talented woman discussing sports on a national platform was inspiring and motivating. Then she joined Good Morning America. She’s been inducted into the Women’s BasketballHall of Fame and named one of ESPNW’s Impact 25 (2014). From reporting on Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath to hosting the Academy Awards preshow, Ms. Roberts has brought a special kind of grace to national media.

But none of this is why I recommend her book, Everybody’sGot Something.

Robin Roberts was very open about her battle with breast cancer. Now she opens up about family life and her battle with myelodysplastic syndrome – say that five times fast. Everybody’s Got Something is a candid look at how Ms. Roberts fought the toughest battle of her life. She’s candid and optimistic when reflecting on each step but also grateful for the help she received from so many people.

Everybody’s Got Something is a must read for anybody facing an uphill battle – and these days, isn’t that most of us?

I give this four top hats out of five :)

#funwithfiction

I may have mentioned that the kids and I are working on a huge social media campaign. We are EXCITED to get started but a lot of prep work goes into these things and we don't want to rush it. However, we thought it would be fun to take a break from what we are doing to offer up some teasers.

Maddox as Starlord, Autumn as the 4th Doctor

Sox as the 10th Doctor

It's no secret that we LOVE to cosplay. From Thorin Oakenshield to the 10th Doctor, the Mad Hatter to Starlord, we love our fandoms. So what better way to leave our mark on the social media universe than #funwithfiction where we give fictional characters our family twist?

In light of the Yaya Han fabric line making its debut at JoAnn stores  and the subsequent frustration over the overpriced, disappointingly poor quality fabrics, we decided to put more effort into documenting our costumes and process. While I could dedicate an entire post to my issues with people like Yaya and their role in destroying the spirit of cosplay, I've decided to skip that negative road and focus on the joy it brings to our lives. 

First, I'm a single mom struggling to make ends meet so we don't have a load of money to put into our costumes. This simply means we need to get creative and use materials and items we CAN fit into our meager budget. Would we love to make incredible pieces with the perfect fabrics? Heck yes! I long to recreate the green velvet dress worn by Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind but unfortunately, my mom does not have yards upon yards of lush green curtains for me to tear down and repurpose. Beyond that, I have designs for gowns and costumes requiring robotics and lights but at this point we just can't make those happen. Still, I do what I can with what I have and the kids have yet to complain. 

Maddox as Frodo Baggins

Autumn in her element

I think my munchkins are in direct competition with each other to select the costume that ultimately stumps me. Autumn almost did with Thorin but I got REALLY creative and used an old bridesmaids dress from my sister as well as the Bellatrix Lestrange costume I wore a few years back to build most of the costume. With a 60% off coupon I grabbed up some faux fur and hand painted the armor details onto the pieces rather than build them (though I do know how to). The end result pleased my kiddo and was lightweight enough for her to trick or treat in. We considered gender-bending Thorin but Autumn didn't want to and as time has passed, she has no problems cosplaying classically male characters because she sees it as a challenge. I will give away a little secret - Autumn has plans for a female Gepetto that will blow your mind if she can pull it off.

In the meantime, we are working on something a bit different.....can you guess what Autumn is creating?

Life as a Fat Mom

I haven’t always been like this. It didn’t happen overnight either. I didn’t even realize it at first. Still, people go out of their way to make me painfully aware now. Sometimes I wonder why nobody close to me took a moment to mention it. Nobody did.

Me at the Rock Hall of Fame....Love The Doors!!

Curvy, weighty, overweight, hefty, plus-sized, BBW….or….just plain fat. Yep, I’m fat. According to BMI charts, at 5’4” I should weigh between 108 and 145 pounds. When I was a senior in high school and a two sport athlete, I weighed 155 pounds. I did not feel good about myself because I was not tall and lean like my friends. I developed a chest very early and it was not small. I had hips and a healthy rear end. Looking back, I looked good. I looked healthy. I looked top heavy. But I was healthy. I must emphasize this. Despite constantly feeling fat, I was not.

In college I gained the freshman fifteen and then some. Again, it didn’t happen overnight. Taking a full (and sometimes overfull) course load, working part time, and trying to have some semblance of a social life took its toll. I didn’t weigh myself for a long time, it wasn’t on my to-do list. In fact, I didn’t really notice my ballooning figure until more than a year after I graduated college. At that point I was dealing with some serious life issues and used food and exercise as a means to begin reclaiming my life. In the spring of 2001 I weighed in at 172 pounds (give or take). I looked pretty good, I felt great.

Then, I got married in 2002. I had my first child in May 2005 and my second in June of 2006. My body betrayed me in so many ways. My already ample chest seemed to explode. I went from a 34DDD/E to a 36GG in that time. My weight fluctuated from 180 to 210 over the course of a few years. It was a tough time for me. By the time my marriage fell apart I was struggling just to stay afloat and look out for my kids. My weight was not in a good place.

Me (as the TARDIS) stepping into a TARDIS

I think the heaviest I weighed in at was 216 and that broke my heart. I have been struggling with my body for more than a decade now. And I am made painfully aware of my failings all the time. I’ve had four doctors in the past fifteen years. Three of the four have treated me like a second class citizen because of my weight. I have actually been told that my chronic migraines would go away if I would just lose weight. Migraines have been a part of my life since 4^th grade so I find that hard to believe. They did not want to hear that. Interestingly, my blood work is all normal. The only chronic health problems I have are my migraines and sinus/allergy difficulties. I don’t eat terribly – I could do better and far worse – but the perception is that I must be unhealthy because of my weight. It’s simply untrue.

With plus-size women speaking out all over the world, it seems crazy that I would continue to encounter prejudices at my size. Yet it still happens. All the time. Unlike those women who appear confident and proud of their size, I am not so much. I remember the feeling of being curvy, voluptuous but not fat. Believe me, I notice when people ignore me for my size. I attend a lot of comic cons and I’m passed over in photo ops for the thinner, more scantily clad ladies. I was even edged out of a photo op I had paid for so that it was just the celeb and my son. It looked so awkward that I cut down the picture from an 8X10 to a 5X7 for my son. I’ll admit, it stung more than a little bit.

I ran a 5K with Autumn

Sharing a post run smoothie with Autumn

It happens in bars and restaurants, school and well, anywhere I go.

The kids and me at Notre Dame

Hell, it happens at the when I go shopping for clothes. I wear a size 14/16 pant, sizes that are generally available in most stores but I have been practically run out of more than one retail giant. One sales clerk actually told me I would probably be more comfortable at another store even though they carried my size. 
It’s not like I was looking at size 2s! Bra shopping is even worse. As noted before, I wear a 36G/GG. Do you know how hard that size is to come by? Nevermind the cost of one when you manage to find one. I try to make my bras last as long as possible for this reason.

My weight doesn't keep me from doing things with my kids and they never seem bothered by my size. I help coach their ball teams, take them to the park to play, and generally don't stop until hours after they do.

Still, I keep trying. I keep plugging away and altering my sleep patterns, my activity, my diet. I just keep searching for the right combination that will allow me to find my way back to a wiser version of the curvy girl I used to be. She’s still in here. Somewhere. But in the meantime, I’m going to plug away as the fat mom and remember how I was treated all these years so that when I find her she will be that much wiser.